At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
