got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
