Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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