i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
