haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
