I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
