He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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