Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
