office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
