So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
