grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
