Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize