9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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