Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
