I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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