Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
