Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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