New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
