You work out of a Hotel?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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