Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
