Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize