Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
