Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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