Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
