WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
