PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
