hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
