New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
