my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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