After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
