Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
