your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
