it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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