You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
