It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
