David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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