people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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