We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
