the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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