Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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