we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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