I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
