i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
