now i know why i became what i already was.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
