I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
