It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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