i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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