Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
