franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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