this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize