You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i came on her dog
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
