sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
