just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
