I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
