Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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