Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
