wat bout pragnant strippers??
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize