She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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