hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
