AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
