Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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