In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
