ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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