I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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