I am spending my child support on dildos
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
