rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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