my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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