I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
