i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
