No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
