remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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