I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
