I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize