When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
