your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
