Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
